One of the greatest performance coaches – Timothy Gallwey – created one of the simplest and most powerful equations for performance in any sphere at any level: Performanceequals potential minus interference.
Have you ever started a discussion about an issue, at home or at work, with the intention of having a very rational, adult-to-adult conversation to come to the best solution … And then, five minutes later, you find yourself vigorously, passionately defending an opinion, that you didn’t even know you had five minutes before! What happened?
Yes, whether you know it or not, we all have our ‘inner crocodile’!
Whenever you act or speak through stress or tension, avoidance, worry, anxiety, anger, defensiveness, impatience, or the need to control a situation, you are actually acting under the influence of your fear response.
I used to think I had to know who I was … and I wasted a lot of time, energy and potential trying to create an ‘image’ and to hang on to it – often in the face of contradictory evidence!
It is the stories that you tell yourself about what worries you, what concerns you, what makes you anxious – i.e. what you fear – that get in your way.
Whatever you may call it – stress, worry, concern, anxiousness, prevarication, avoidance, impatience, nervousness, defensiveness, aggression, helplessness – you are actually talking about Fear. All of these feelings, states and behaviours are aspects of fear, and they are getting in your way, blocking your success, your fulfilment, your relationships.
We have all experienced how disruptive, even toxic, certain individuals can be – digging their heels in obstructively over an important issue, refusing to engage or become part of a team, actively undermining group purpose and cohesion or a group leader. They may even manipulate everything and everyone to suit their own purposes without regard for others (and we can probably think of an individual or two that exemplify these traits on the global stage at the moment …). If we are honest, we have probably acted in such a way ourselves at some time, particularly when under intense pressure …
Everyone has their favoured definitions of leadership teams (strategic, vision, direction, resource allocation, seniority etc.) and management teams (tactical, implementation, process driven, getting things done, middle to ground floor etc.).
Enabling people to find greater fulfilment through connection with their purpose and discovering how to express that in their personal and professional lives is the focus of my work. These ‘4Ps’ are the essential elements of that work, and they can work for you, building one upon the other. Continue reading “Presence, Purpose, Positivity and Professionalism – The Essential ‘4Ps’”
Who do you spend most of your time thinking about? How much of your inner dialogue is taken up with reviewing what you said / what they said / what you and they will say / what they might think of you / do they like you / have you done the ‘right’ thing? In short, how much of your time do you spend ‘thinking’ about yourself? Quite a bit, I would guess, one way or another …